Hatter: "You're not the same as you were before. You were much more... muchier. You've lost your muchness."
Alice: "My Muchness?"
Hatter: "In there- somethings missing."
This year, all of my friends forgot my birthday. ALL of them. The only people who remembered my birthday were my family members that I live with (who were reminded everyday of the week leading up to my birthday), and people who got on Facebook (oh, how I hate Facebook!!!). And many of the people on Facebook made a point of mentioning how it doesn't even mean anything to wish me happy birthday on there because Facebook reminds them and gives them a little box to write their comments in! ....Gee, if that didn't make me feel special I don't know what would! I mean seriously: people I've been friends with for over a decade, people I share secrets with, am dating, people I've comforted when they have broken down in tears, have lived with, planned parties for... every single person who I have taken special care to remember their birthday... None of them remembered mine.
And so, on June 14th, 2012, exactly ninteen years after I was born, I gave up on wishing. I used to make wishes ALL the time! On birthday candles, at 11:11, when finding pennies, and especially before trying to blow all of the seeds off a dandelion (even thought I had never been successful). I guess I've always been a dreamer? romantic? hopeful? too addicted to Disney movies? Probably the last one.
At least, that is how I was until recently. Buuuut after wishing for the same small thing for the past year or two and not getting it, I've given up on wishing. It just reminds me of that thing I've really wanted but don't think will ever happen. This year was my most pathetic attempt at blowing out my birthday candles anyways- kind of the icing on the cake after everything else that had happened. So I quit. Then, I plucked a dandelion when on a walk with a friend the other day and for the first time ever specifically didn't wish for anything. It was also the first time ever that I blew all of the seeds off. Thank you, universe, for that slap in the face.
but maybe its just a phase....
Was honestly sad to read this!! I don't know somedays how much I still believe in wishes...I like too but I don't know if I really see them come true. I have s amall birthday wish this year but guess to a point understand if it doesn't come true. My hope though is Gina that something in life in the next few days or weeks or whatever it takes comes at you to keep hope in those wishes. Because those wishes and hopes and even disney movies can give us hope on some days that seem pretty bleak. Love ya...and I truly hope it's just a phase.
ReplyDeleteGina,
ReplyDeleteYou deserve to have people remember your birthday! You deserve to have surprise parties thrown for you, and you deserve for your wishes to come true. So if you need to stop wishing for a little while--or even for a long while--that's okay. But don't stop believing. The world is still a magical place, filled with adventures waiting to happen, filled with mysteries that we will never uncover, and sometimes the most amazing thing about the world is that, instead of granting all of our wishes, it surprises us with beautiful things that we never even thought to wish for.
I hope that you get a lot of those. :)
“Have faith, little one, ‘til your hopes and your wishes come true. You must try to be brave.”
― The Rescuers