A lesson from AFV

Watch this video:

I feel like this is the perfect metaphor for life. We say we are OK, even if we don't feel like we are OK, but in all actuality, we are still going to be OK. I'm OK, you're OK, and this boy is OK. He just doesn't know it yet :)

and OK looks like a sideways person..... think about it.

If You Forget Me

I love poems, they can be anything! They can speak volumes in just a few phrases, paint great works of art with just a few words. This isn't the geatest poem I've ever read, but I found it the day before my most recent relationship ended. I was reading this one and thinking "wow, Pablo, once again you understand me so perfectly!" because there is another poem of his that I sort of secretly clung to in the depths of my despair a few months ago (Me Gustas Cuando Callas). Pablo is definitely going on my "List of Guys I Love:" a post I've been working on for a while that will probably show up here within a few weeks. Its full of my mild-moderate-extreme fan girl obsessions. But anyways, here is a love poem, enjoy it if you will. Below are some more poems that I love, more typical of what gets me (but seriously, read the poems at the bottom).

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine. 

Pablo Neruda

Further Reading:

in case you are in a poetry sort of mood :)

Dust of Snow by Robert Frost (probably my favoritest poem of all poems)

I Chose the Mountain by Howard Simon
Introduction to Poetry by Billy Collins

Death Be Not Proud by John Donne

Shakespeare's Sonnets 83 and 130

An Almost Made Up Poem by Charles Bukowski


and yes, I posted twice in one day. Its my blog and I'll do what I want. I might even post one or two more times today!

The Internet

If I were to say:

 "OMGGGGGGG! I'm so lonely, nobody wants to date me!!! :( :( :( </3" 

in a Facebook status, nobody would like it, most people would be annoyed, and a few people might even unfriend me. If I said:

"I'm lonely :("

people will awkwardly continue scrolling because they don't want to get involved.

BUT, if I post this picture:

it will have at least 10 likes within an hour and probably twenty after a whole day

because its the internet, and people don't care about people on the internet.

MUCHNESS

Hatter: "You're not the same as you were before. You were much more... muchier.  You've lost your muchness."

Alice: "My Muchness?"

Hatter: "In there- somethings missing."

This year, all of my friends forgot my birthday.  ALL of them.  The only people who remembered my birthday were my family members that I live with (who were reminded everyday of the week leading up to my birthday), and people who got on Facebook (oh, how I hate Facebook!!!). And many of the people on Facebook made a point of mentioning how it doesn't even mean anything to wish me happy birthday on there because Facebook reminds them and gives them a little box to write their comments in!  ....Gee, if that didn't make me feel special I don't know what would! I mean seriously: people I've been friends with for over a decade, people I share secrets with, am dating, people I've comforted when they have broken down in tears, have lived with, planned parties for... every single person who I have taken special care to remember their birthday... None of them remembered mine.


 And so, on June 14th, 2012, exactly ninteen years after I was born, I gave up on wishing.  I used to make wishes ALL the time! On birthday candles, at 11:11, when finding pennies, and especially before trying to blow all of the seeds off a dandelion (even thought I had never been successful).  I guess I've always been a dreamer? romantic? hopeful? too addicted to Disney movies? Probably the last one.


At least, that is how I was until recently. Buuuut after wishing for the same small thing for the past year or two and not getting it, I've given up on wishing. It just reminds me of that thing I've really wanted but don't think will ever happen.  This year was my most pathetic attempt at blowing out my birthday candles anyways- kind of the icing on the cake after everything else that had happened.  So I quit. Then, I plucked a dandelion when on a walk with a friend the other day and for the first time ever specifically didn't wish for anything. It was also the first time ever that I blew all of the seeds off.  Thank you, universe, for that slap in the face.

but maybe its just a phase....

Olive Olivia

Once Upon a Time..... I was a 6th grader and was forced to write a story in my English class.  I recently dug up this, um, "literary masterpiece" when cleaning out my closet.  As you will see, my vocabulary is bad, there is no plot line, and bunch of gaps in the story. I do have to give myself some credit though, the way I wrote the story is pretty ingenious: a teenage girl writing a journal means that I can blame all of the mistakes on my main character Olivia (thats right, its totally not my fault that the story is ridiculous).  Although I have to admit that if I needed to write a story now it would probably be of about the same quality....

But please, ENJOY the story and just laugh with me, not at me. I'm including a little commentary that I find absolutely necessary.

 ^pretty snazy copywright page, huh?

 I think I forgot to specify in the story, but she lives in the ocean, in a society of eels, that is why she wears "sleeves."

At least I got something right: the first day of school is ALWAYS boring.

Jacob Cook, a very authentic name for a Spanish exchange student, yes? haha

"Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you"

see what I did there? I just skipped a long period of time because I had nothing to say about it, but I blamed it on Olivia. Olive Olivia the Scapegoat.

I guess I couldn't come up with a better illustration....

(sorry some of the words were cut off!)

Does my Olive Olivia picture remind anyone else of Voldemort?

seriously, I'm embarrassed by how terrible and cliche this is...

oh look, all of a sudden we are at the end of the school year! That darn Olivia, forgetting to write in her diary, tisk tisk!

again, total cop out on the ending.

Thar Be Treasure!

Sometimes I get really bored and stare at Pinterest until I am so motivated to make something super crafty that I think its a good idea to search my closet for knick-knacks to assemble into some epic mural woven out out of old shoelaces and pony beads or something.....  but I usually get distracted and it just turns into a treasure hunt!

Thar Be Treasure in My Closet!!!

I think, as I get older, I realize that most of the things I thought would be really dandy to keep for when I was older are really just wasting space in my itsy bitsy closety, but its kind of fun discovering the treasure in those boxes... 

Here is a collection of my most recent finds:

a shoe box full of birthday cards and origami I made in 5th grade

really really old books

small versions of things

a Neopet robot!

Look at this beauty: A purple CD player!

SHINY THINGS!!

Cool story: that fat caterpillar looking thing is a bracelet this kid named James gave me when we were in the 1st grade.  Its the first time a boy gave me jewelry.... the only time, I think, and looking back, he most likely stole that bracelet from his mom. Yeah, he wasn't that great of a kid, but he had good taste in ladies, right? ;) AND STEALING IS VERY WRONG!!

and here is a holographic Meowth card I found. I used to have dozens of Pokemon cards that I would trade with my siblings (and rank in order of cuteness).

I also found a book I wrote when I was eleven! Its quite an embarrassing work of literature that I think I might share with all of you in a later post.

Thats all of the treasure I located this time, but I'm sure there are plenty more discoveries waiting for me...


Other good places to find treasure:
Under the bed, on shelves, in storage units, and especially were there is a big X on a treasure map.